Gratitude Without Attitude

I know it has been a while since my last post, it's not because I haven't had anything to write... It's mostly been because this whole job search thing has me so depressed that I find it hard to sit on the computer any longer than it takes me to search for jobs, post for those positions, answer emails associated with said jobs, and write then re-write and then re-write my resume again.  I don't get why there have to be SO many versions of the same job descriptions and bullet points, I've tried to explain till I'm blue in the face what it is that I do & have done, but no one seems to get it or care.

Anyway, my job search hasn't taken a back seat by any stretch of the imagination but I have spent more time and energy on building a strong spiritual foundation here at home and trying to worry less about when said job will come.  Our latest sermon series at our church has been about worry & how it does nothing to resolve the problem, etc.  I've noticed that I'm just a slight control freak when it comes to what I believe is the right job for me vs. what plans God has planned for me.

I've been to several in person (usually 2nd or 3rd) interviews with just a touch of hope attached to each of them.  My head tells me that these jobs are PERFECT for me but there's always something in my gut telling me that they're not right.  That gut feeling never kept me from doing exactly what my mother told me never to do (Putting all my eggs in one basket, et. al.) and leading me to sink just a little deeper into this supposed hopelessness.  I get my hopes all up and then I hear nothing for a few weeks, I do what I've been advised to do by calling or emailing to follow up & am informed by Mr or Ms HR Mgr that they have decided to go with another candidate or continue searching as they have not yet found what they are looking for.

So, what I decided to do a little while back was to focus on what I CAN do/control and take care of those things - updating my resume, writing kick butt cover letters, applying to jobs I would actually ENJOY doing instead of every job that pops up that I completely qualify for (over the first 6 months of unemployment I LITERALLY applied for over 300 jobs, in the past 2 months I have only applied to truly focused positions & am down to about 5 a week.)  As stated in Matthew 6:26 "Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; and your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are not ye of much more value then they?"  God has my back, as long as I am doing all that I am able, the rest is surrendered to Him.  It will all work in according to His plan anyway, so why do I insist on keeping my grubby little human hands in the middle of it?  I don't have a real answer for that right now, but I do know that I am doing my best to steer clear of being a "Hover Christian" because God doesn't need me to watch over Him... He is watching over me.

For that I am truly grateful & I'm going to do my best to not let my control freak attitude cause me to go walking off on someone else's path when mine would be SO much easier to walk.